1. I need to work on writing shorter and more concise sentences. I had learned that using shorter and more concise sentences are more effective than writing sentence full of information that can tend to be long winded and confusing to the reader. There were not any grammar errors noted.
2. What worked well for me was switching my introductory essay with my conclusion. By switching the two paragraphs I was able to make a more concise introduction for my thesis. I should have used more examples and did more research for the essay to make my point more understandable.
3. For this essay grammar for this essay again was just the wording in my paragraphs. I now understand that having a strong thesis will help with my focus throughout the essay and help me to make my thoughts focused.
4. I tried to stick to the pie structure as much as I could. The problem with my paper was making a better or stronger thesis for my essay and using it to make my point stronger. With my next essay I plan on using the PIE structure to make an outline of my draft that way the essay has flow and is clear enough for the reader to follow.
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