Prewriting Blog #4

Since I wrote my last essay on the morality and ethics in the meat packing industry I think for this essay I'm going to write about the civil rights movement that is happening with prop 8. I think that our generation needs a movement because in a way it forces us to really prove that we can change the future not only cause it but be able to know when we need change and to make that judgment call. Our generation also has to prove that we are capable of the change.

I understand how it relates to the readings because people in the meat industry were not getting the rights that they deserved and that applies to the people that believe in or lives will be compromised by prop 8. For the correlation from the reading to my essay I will compare the unfair treatment of the workers to the rights of the people against prop 8.

The primary outcome of the essay will result in me explaining how i intend to prove my arguments about the unfair action that is being taken in this modern day civil rights movement.
My audience obviously needs to understand where I stand on the issue and they also need to know the information in FFN to understand how the two issues are related. The dialogue I use will be direct so they know exactly what the point I'm trying to argue is.

Reading Blog #6

In our society the people that rule come from the US government. They make, interpret and enforce all the rules and regulations in our society. The definition of rule is : to control or direct; exercise dominating power, authority, or influence over; govern: (dictionary.com)

People rule in our everyday lives too, whether its your boss in the workplace or your parents. Their role is to direct society in the direction that is best for them as a whole. Sometimes people agree and sometimes they don't. And whther the followers agree or not decides where the direction of our country goes.

The roles of the people that are ruled are to take the information from the rulers and follow them to the best of their ability. The ruled are ultimatly the deciding factor for waht goes on in society because they are usually the majority.

post evaluation #2

1. I need to work on writing shorter and more concise sentences. I had learned that using shorter and more concise sentences are more effective than writing sentence full of information that can tend to be long winded and confusing to the reader. There were not any grammar errors noted.
2. What worked well for me was switching my introductory essay with my conclusion. By switching the two paragraphs I was able to make a more concise introduction for my thesis. I should have used more examples and did more research for the essay to make my point more understandable.
3. For this essay grammar for this essay again was just the wording in my paragraphs. I now understand that having a strong thesis will help with my focus throughout the essay and help me to make my thoughts focused.
4. I tried to stick to the pie structure as much as I could. The problem with my paper was making a better or stronger thesis for my essay and using it to make my point stronger. With my next essay I plan on using the PIE structure to make an outline of my draft that way the essay has flow and is clear enough for the reader to follow.