Self Evaluation Blog #4

For my last essay I had very few grammatical errors marked on my paper. What I could have done to make the paper flow was use lead-ins for book information. For example instead of writing, "In FFN......", I could put, "Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation describes..." What I learned in this reading and writing process was how to use your sources to back up your thesis. Before I would struggle to find more words or find a different perspectives. But i learned that if you use your sources right then it is easier to prove your case. It is also possible to get carried away with the information from the outside sources so i have to make sure that i put three times more of my input than information in the essay. Throughout all the essays I have learned that grammar is very important to your writing. Whatever you write down and whatever grammar patterns you use the reader is going to reader and that pretty much sets the whole tone and voice for the paper. What i discovered while attending class this semester is that writing and critical thinking is not only limited to something that you do in the classroom. Critical thinking can be applied to everything in life and writing is your way of expressing it. This class has definitely helped me become a better writer and to understand the whole writing process on a different level. This class also helped me in the writing process by showing that there are different sources that you can use for writing besides book in a library or stuff on the Internet. Not only is it easier to write, I learned that writing could be interactive and not just plain and boring like " The Banking Concept."

Self Evaluation Blog #3

Again, for this essay grammar was not a big deal. I did not get any points marked down for grammar. From draft one to draft three I think that the hardest part for me was making sure I made myself clear on my thesis. It helped me a lot because we when over the prompt on class and Beth helped me fill in any holes in my logic. There was not one thing that did not help me on this essay. The workshops were good too because i got to read my thoughts out loud and correct any flaws.
Nothing really changed for me on understanding grammar and how important it is to the reader that you have correct grammar and punctuation. I think now I am at the point where I am comfortable with grammar patterns that I use but now I feel I could take it to the next level to make my writing sound and look more sophisticated.
The lecture that helped me a lot was the one Prof. Roberts did in class on the classic argument. I used the lecture to structure my paper and i definitely made the P.I.E structure more manageable. I learned a lot about the topics of regulation in this learning unit. It opened my eyes to a lot of different issues that are happening in the world. Very interesting.
On this essay I got the worst score out of the whole semester. The main reason I got points taken off was the MLA formatting. I do not think I will ever be able to master MLA but I have improved with each paper. I have also learned what not to do with MLA in each essay I write.

Prewriting Blog #4

Since I wrote my last essay on the morality and ethics in the meat packing industry I think for this essay I'm going to write about the civil rights movement that is happening with prop 8. I think that our generation needs a movement because in a way it forces us to really prove that we can change the future not only cause it but be able to know when we need change and to make that judgment call. Our generation also has to prove that we are capable of the change.

I understand how it relates to the readings because people in the meat industry were not getting the rights that they deserved and that applies to the people that believe in or lives will be compromised by prop 8. For the correlation from the reading to my essay I will compare the unfair treatment of the workers to the rights of the people against prop 8.

The primary outcome of the essay will result in me explaining how i intend to prove my arguments about the unfair action that is being taken in this modern day civil rights movement.
My audience obviously needs to understand where I stand on the issue and they also need to know the information in FFN to understand how the two issues are related. The dialogue I use will be direct so they know exactly what the point I'm trying to argue is.

Reading Blog #6

In our society the people that rule come from the US government. They make, interpret and enforce all the rules and regulations in our society. The definition of rule is : to control or direct; exercise dominating power, authority, or influence over; govern: (dictionary.com)

People rule in our everyday lives too, whether its your boss in the workplace or your parents. Their role is to direct society in the direction that is best for them as a whole. Sometimes people agree and sometimes they don't. And whther the followers agree or not decides where the direction of our country goes.

The roles of the people that are ruled are to take the information from the rulers and follow them to the best of their ability. The ruled are ultimatly the deciding factor for waht goes on in society because they are usually the majority.

post evaluation #2

1. I need to work on writing shorter and more concise sentences. I had learned that using shorter and more concise sentences are more effective than writing sentence full of information that can tend to be long winded and confusing to the reader. There were not any grammar errors noted.
2. What worked well for me was switching my introductory essay with my conclusion. By switching the two paragraphs I was able to make a more concise introduction for my thesis. I should have used more examples and did more research for the essay to make my point more understandable.
3. For this essay grammar for this essay again was just the wording in my paragraphs. I now understand that having a strong thesis will help with my focus throughout the essay and help me to make my thoughts focused.
4. I tried to stick to the pie structure as much as I could. The problem with my paper was making a better or stronger thesis for my essay and using it to make my point stronger. With my next essay I plan on using the PIE structure to make an outline of my draft that way the essay has flow and is clear enough for the reader to follow.

pre-writing blog #3

For this essay i am going to respond to the second prompt. I completely agree with Luther Standing Bear when he states “man’s heart, away from nature, becomes hard . . . lack of respect for growing, living things soon led to lack of respect for human too”. I believe that everything in life happens in cycles and that everything comes full circle. I also believe that when nature, spirituality, and family aren't part of your day to day life that you do lose sight of what's "close" to nature. What you do becomes who you are and if you are all business and work them that's what you will become. First you begin to lose sight of natural and humanistic things and then eventually you can become just a machine. In respect to FFN, I think that the leaders in the fast food industry have lost sight of that and have become just people looking to make a fast buck and then take over the world. And they already have. So hopefully everything will come first circle and we won't have a world dominated by Fast Food.

Reading Blog #5

I would sadly have to say that fast food does play a big role in my life. It actually is more apart of my life now than when I was little. When I was younger my mom was a full time mom so my family mainly ate homemade foods. But as I got older and as my parents started their own business it seems like as a family we eat fast food at least once a week. Because its fast, affordable , and easy it just seems like the obvious choice.
My memories of fast food always go back to McDonald's. All I can remember was thinking about getting that Happy Meal. That was one of the few fast food places my family ate at as a kid. The Play Place also holds some fond memories for me. The ball pit was my favorite. But now that I know just how unsanitary they were it kind of makes me cringe.

Self-Evaluation Blog #1

1. My paper did not have any numbers to correct grammar. The thing I needed to work on was syntax in my writing. I learned to make sure to not write like I talk. To fix my wording if it sounds a little awkward. And one way to fix that is to read the essay out loud a couple of times.
2. What worked well for me was how we write the first draft. It helps me out a lot because it forces me to say everything I can think of to get the 1,200 words and then I have a lot of information to work with. The only thing that is still awkward to me is not writing in the five paragraph essay style just because it’s been so ingrained.
3. I think that my view has changed because I can see how much of a difference it makes in creating the voice in my essay and doing it in an intelligent way. The writing process has made it easier to deal with grammar because you give us direct references, examples, and you show us how to fix them in our own essays.
4. The lecture that I liked and helped me for my next essay is the PIE lecture. It was helpful to understand that the point is the claim you’re trying to make, information is the research and sources that we get, and the explanations are the connections that you make from one source to another. It lays it out and give you room to do your own thing but also makes it well structured.

Prewriting Blog #2

For my second essay I think I will write about the second prompt. I found the Jib Fowles' piece on the "Fifteen Appeals" very interesting. Advertising has always been very intriguing to me. I've looked and thought about for many different perspectives. You can't help but think or talk about it because its everywhere and whether you think your influenced or not you are, because its all around us and subconsciously our minds take in the information even when we don't know it. If you think about it advertising is everywhere and everything. Commercials, movies, music, even celebrities and their lifestyles. But i think the interesting part of advertising is the controversial part obviously: how far they take advertising and how they market it to different ages, sexes, and races. It is so funny to see how the McDonald's commercials advertise toys to little kids and the fun atmosphere that you will experience when you go there. As a kid growing up in the 90's I remember always thinking about "Mickey D's" and the only two thoughts that popped in my head were Playplace and Happy meal toy. And of course it makes it easy on the parents because its a affordable lunch as well as a built in babysitter. Two birds with one stone. I want to read into the "15 Appeals" more and find the connections from the "Appeals" to how the Fast Food industry advertise today.

Reading Blog #4

Student

My name is Dorian. I attend school at Sierra College. This semester is my third semester there. I live with my dad, mom, two little sisters, and little brother. We live in Roseville, California. My parents own their own financial services business, Primerica. I work at Target Greatland as an instock/salesfloor team member. I make 8.25 an hour and the most expensive things I own are my phone, iPod, and laptop.

Pre-writing Blog #1

For my essay I am going to answer the second prompt. It a little easier for me to talk about this topic because my parents are currently living out the idea of the American dream with their business. For me the idea of am American Dream is being able to become whatever you want to become. People from all over the world live their whole life wishing they could just have a little of what Americans have today. The idea that you are responsible for what you can become and how successful of unsuccessful you are. No one to hold you back or say its illegal for you to succeed.
I believe that the American dream very much exist. Its just that our society has become so lazy that it takes a special person to actually achieve the dream. People have become so complacent where they are at that they settle for the situation they are in and don't strive for what they really want.
We really do have two concepts of the American Dream. One is what Schlosser describes which is the big corporate industries making huge amounts of profit all over the world. And then there is the reality of the dream where you could never get anywhere in corporate unless you start a business of your own.

Reading #3

To me the "idea of being an American" is having the freedoms that many other countries don't. I think its hard for me to understand the idea of being American because that's all I've ever known, but I've talked to people who have been to other countries and say how much they appreciate living here.
Being American means having the freedom to start from nothing and become successful. I also think that part of being America is being able to take advantage of the freedoms we exercise everyday. I couldn't ever imagine being told what to eat, how to dress, and what I couldn't do day after day.
It just so happens that my grandparents, mom, and I were in a somewhat "heated" discussion on who the next President should be right before I wrote this blog. My Grandparents who are in their early sixties are adamant about voting for McCain. However, my mom and I want to vote for Obama. I think that the ideas of "being American" and the direction of our country are completely different from mine. My grandparents believe that McCain should take office because he has been in war and has seen it as a primary source.
I think that America has been steered in the same (wrong) direction for almost eight years. I believe that if Obama goes into office he of course won't be able to change the country in one term, but he could start getting the wheels turned in the right direction, towards change.
A democratic society to me is a society that has the ability to choose how they run their country, who runs their country, and what's right for their country. I think that the previous generation has the same concept of what a democracy is I just think that my generation believes that our country is growing farther and farther away from the idea of a democracy.
America and the idea of democracy are completely intertwined. There would be no America without democracy. It's the foundation America was built on but sadly it's the same foundation that I believe is crumbling. People come here and depend on the democratic society we have today.

Reading Blog #2

I believe that "thinking critically" is when you search not only for the surface information but when you dig deeper and use the surface text to interpret what the writer is saying. When you think critically you also have to read the text and annotate it to get an interpretation. You have to go through multiple processes and read the text more than once. Once you do that you can see the whole picture and really understand the meaning the writer was trying to get across.

When I think of critical thinking in a traditional "banking" class I think of the students reading the text and then the teacher telling the students what the writer was trying to say. The student doesn't really come up with any opinions on the text on his or her own. When this happens there is only one interpretation getting across and may not be how or what every student thinks of the text. When this happens the level of critical thinking is shallow because the student is writing on someone elses opinion and can't add much depth to their response because they didn't come up with it on their own in the first place.

In a non-traditional classroom is think it is just the opposite. The students come up with their own ideas and opinions and elaborate on them. They use certain processes from any previous background information that they knew, to reading and analyzing the text, and then finally using their own perspective to understand the writer's standpoint. No one answer is the same, or right or wrong.

I think that teachers might be a little resistant to a more non-traditional classroom its harder to grade students on their opinions as opposed to one right answer or analysis. I think the student would be more resistant because it requires you to think a lot more in a non-traditional class. And because critical thinking involves different processes it also take more time and effort for the student to get their answer.

Reading Blog #1

The real reason I decided to take the English 11 and 1A hybrid class was because it was recommended by my former English professor, Tricia Lord. But as I started reading more into the course, I discovered that it would be the perfect class for me. I've always been interested in critical thinking and the idea of searching deeper into the text to find out what the author really wanted to get across to the reader, or what the writer wanted the reader to interpret from the text. Then on the first day of lecture I was sure that I would benefit from taking this hybrid course. The whole idea of going against the "Banking Concept" is completely what I'm all about. Ever since I was little my parents always instilled the same concepts that we will be learning and exploring in class, just to everyday life situations.
The skills that I hope to acquire while taking this class are being able to get my thoughts out on paper and being able to express them to the reader. I think that is going to be my main challenge during this semester. I seem to know what I want to say but not know how to say it or express it in a way that my reader can know what I was trying to get across. I'm really excited about the reading and writing processes that we are going to go through during this course I think that it will really help me on the challenges that I go through while I'm writing.

Writing Blog #1 (intro)

My name is Dorian.
My friends and family always come first and I love them dearly. Music is my muse. I try to go to shows or concerts as much as I can. I spend most of my time with my boyfriend Justin. We've been going out for almost two years. I've been working part time at Target for almost five months. I am going to transfer to University San Francisco next year. I want to study to become either an OB/GYN or Pediatrician.